My Own 20 Most Surreal/Ironic/Hilarious Moments of 2009

1. My condolences as King Khan and BBQ got busted with narcotics in some shitsplat city in the South. My deeper sympathies to their tour manager who took the fall.
2. Being amazed by the indie-rock news cycle’s over-reaching attempts to keep Jay Reatard in the news who openly "fights" with his "fans" and journos regarding that as "news". Of course, when he urinates on one of his bandmates at Gonerfest, nobody notices. Come to think of it, I guess that’s pretty common…
3. REM’s newest double CD/DVD live release sold less than 2000 its first week while U2’s newest sold over one million. Ouch. That’s gotta suck.
4. The Beatles punishing fans by not selling the mono mixes of their records individually. Pricks.
5. Receiving a box of crazy CRAZY DC relics from Chris Thomson (CIrcus Lupus, Monorchid, Ignition, etc.) that I was neither expecting nor prepared for. Two unreleased sessions by Cupid Car Club? ‘Nuff sed.
6. I announced that I’d fight Manny Theiner for charity in his hometown for Pittsburgh. Obviously no response.
7. I also was willing to publicly debate Paste Magazine over their merit (versus Chunklet’s) and whether they deserve to have fundraiser benefits. Again, no response.
8. Record Store Day exclusive releases! LOVE!!!!!
9. Receiving a call from Corey Rusk asking to sell over 1500 records for him on eBay. I’m two months into it and I’ve barely made a dent!
10. Receiving a cease and desist email from Jenny Lens after posting a prank call that Black Randy (of his Metrosquad) made to her regarding her illicit activities in the late 70’s/early 80’s.

Easy Action at the Chunklet NXNE ’09 showcase!

11. Spending 3 hours chatting at NXNE in Toronto with John Brannon (Easy Action, Laughing Hyenas, Negative Approach) and having him close the discussion with "You’re my hero!".
12. The continued rise in popularity of Mississippi Records which, at least to my feeble noggin, seems like nothing more than a glorified bootleg label. By comparison, Numero Group is continually marginalized.
13. The Fugazi stage banter tape on The only thing that can rival that is a sequel featuring all the Q&A’s from Bob Weston during Shellac gigs. Chance of that happening with their permission? Nil.
14. The Monsters of Folk. No mention of Pete Seeger anywhere and he could both play circles around them and actually be worthy of the moniker Monster of Folk unlike these young, white rich kids.
15. Watching Black Lips fans in Atlanta continue to morph into this mega-douchebag that I can’t even tolerate. And the Black Lips? They haven’t changed that much.
16. Preparing for the inevitable backlash against the Dum Dum Girls. Still anticipating same said backlash for Vivian Girls.
17. Being blown away (yet again) by Thirsty Moon Records in San Diego who cart INCREDIBLE vanity pressings of psych/garage records directly over from Tijuana and sell them for $17.99. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
18. Watching the cringeworthy decline of the once mighty Trail of Dead.
19. Buying the first two Monster Magnet singles from Mike Lavella who, ironically, was the person who first introduced me to them in the pages of MRR so many years ago.
20. Being allowed to introduce Fucked Up at ATP and then having three Irish jag bags ask me what my point was in singling out the Horrors for being less tolerable than having your nuts in a vice. Such is life.