Fortune Battle of the Corporate Bands: Worst Music Contest Ever

Straight from this abortion’s press release:
Legendary drummer Tommy Lee of rock band MÖTLEY CRÜE is one of three judges chosen to pick the best corporate rock band in the upcoming Fortune Battle of the Corporate Bands presented by NAMM, the trade association of the international music products industry, and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. Lee will be joined by noted musician and author Jeff Carlisi and Making Music magazine editor-in-chief Antoinette Follett as judges at the ninth annual event, taking place on Saturday, October 3, 2009, at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum.

The first music competition of its kind, the battle provides amateur, company-sponsored bands with the opportunity to step out of the conference room and celebrate their passion for making music. Eight qualifying bands from across the U.S. will take the stage at the Rock Hall, with the chance to earn the title of best corporate band.

This took 4 minutes, tops.

It’s not bad enough that a bunch of six figure suits get to rob the world blind, they also get their very own "music contest" because inside every overfed, country club, blue-blood, white boy, is a rock god who thinks they juuust missed their big chance. How great that Tommy Lee (professional hepatitis carrier and the world’s worst life guard) gets to crown the king in a collection of mega-stiffs in one, big, orgasmic, commercial, handjob. And no, this is NOT a joke. Included, on this year’s roster, is a vid of "Manage This" (get it?!) who may or may not win this year? I’ve seen the 4th quarter spreadsheet projections and let me say, ROCK IS DEAD. Thanks guys. Go back to Hawaiian shirt Friday.