Bless Me Chunklet, For I Have Sinned…

Let 2008 begin with us all confessing our transgressions.
Let us all declare out-loud, for the world to hear (ha! there’s a stretch) our shortcomings, faults, and down right sins against the zeitgeist.

Be they that which we should not like… but do,
Be they that which we should rightfully loath… but do not,
Be they all those dark secrets we hold down in the depths of our hipster souls –
Set them free and breathe deep the air of forgiveness and absolution.

Fore this is not about irony, kitsch, or the guitar player in a doom metal band that wears a Willie Nelson T-shirt. It’s about deep and meaningful repentance. It’s about healing. 

And in the spirit of true redemption I will begin:

1. I can think of at least five U2 songs I like.
2. I hate Wes Anderson’s movies. I hate them all. I know this reveals a lacking in my character, not Mr. Anderson’s film making prowess. I accept that.
3. I am of the opinion that Kathy Griffin is really funny.
4. There’s a 50/50 chance I’d still fuck Delta Burke

Phew,… do I feel better. The sun is shinier, the air is fresher, and my eyes can see the glory.  

So dip yourself in Chunklet’s holy potion and let our cleansing fluid drip from your blesseded face. You are hereby born anew and forgiven.

(ALSO – no armchair quarterbacking: confess your own sins before commenting on those of another)