rock-bible

The Rock Bible

$14.99

Like Moses delivering forth the Ten Commandments, Henry Owings brings music fans The Rock Bible—an insider’s guide to living the rock ‘n’ roll dream. This hilarious rulebook is full of dos and don’ts for musicians, wannabe musicians, and rock fans of all ages. Here’s what The Rock Bible has to say about

Singers: “When you feel like stage-diving, make sure the people in the front row like your music enough to catch you.”

Backstage antics: “Couches at rock clubs have never been cleaned. Think of the crazy things that have been done on these couches, and then proceed at great personal risk.”

Lifestyle: “If you want to die while in a famous rock band, there are four options. 1. Suicide. 2. Car or plane crash. 3. Drug overdose. 4. Murdered by a crazy relative. Just pick one and stick with it.”

Complete with faux-biblical illustrations and parables and essays from comedian Patton Oswalt, Chunklet contributor/drummer Brian Teasley, and professional smartass Andrew Earles, The Rock Bible is a rude and raunchy look at the best and worst of rock ‘n’ roll.