Chunklet

In this corner the reigning champion, hailing from Newcastle England, NWOBHM veterans and creators of the term “black metal” - VENOM and their 1985 classic clip of between-song stage banter. You know it, you love it, you can thank an unnamed Black Flag roadie for bequeathing us this treasure.

And in the other corner the challenger, from Buffalo, New York (oh, how I wanted to say “parts unknown”) Death/Gore Metal heavyweights Cannibal Corpse who once were mentioned by name by none other than Bob Dole as having ”violated human decency” and their recently unearthed left-hook of stage wordy-ness.

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE! (Imagine that dude’s voice)

Here’s your scoring system – which is only a suggestion. Hell, do what you want.

1. Originality
2. Passion
3. Presentation
4. Pure Metal-ness

But keep in mind: Venom is classic, yes, and much longer and involved. But the Cannibal Corpse clip is more dangerous, perhaps craftier, and may cause more bodily injury. So it looks like we might have an unholy fair fight on our bloody hands. Put on your spikes, bullet-belts, load your devil horns and come out fighting.

DUH!?!

Posted by spiderman @ 05/30/2009 05:08 AM

I think I remember reading that the Venom thing was recorded/edited by Mr. Joe Cole....Rollins' friend/roadie who was murdered in front of him. His book "Planet Joe" is worth reading.

Posted by Justin @ 04/05/2008 05:04 PM

Sorry about my faux paux, but I don't sit around and listen to Cannibal Corpse (that came off a little douche-baggy) that much. Just enough to know that I like Napalm Death better. Too bad they opened up for Devil Driver. And those idiots chanting for the latter during the former's set at the Masquerade kind of detracted from the show.

Posted by Kevin @ 03/28/2008 08:37 PM

sick satanic fucks vomit soul sweat blah blah blah. i cant stop laughing at his voice though.

Posted by martina @ 03/27/2008 09:07 PM

CC-Hand Down!! You ever tried to talk like that for a whole set?

Posted by wm @ 03/27/2008 10:01 AM

Eh...Napalm Death all the way.

Posted by Jaron Loggins @ 03/27/2008 12:13 AM

Venom CC was waay too short and he sounds exactly like Nathan Explosion.Plus you learn so much about venom thier dislikes and likes what they drink?(Newcastl brown ale) I mean what kinda snacks do Cannibal Corpse enjoy.New challenger pronto!

Posted by goofygrape @ 03/26/2008 09:26 PM

Venom. Indeed... indeed.

Thought I have to say CC scared my cats more.

Posted by Ben-no @ 03/26/2008 08:50 PM

Yeah, It's Chris Barnes, tho i didn't know he sounded as dumb as Corpsegrinder looks. I always took him to be more of an intellectual, as well as being with CC when they were writing good songs.

Cannibal wins, on retardation points. But DLR and Cronos would be a good match as far as being thrilling and titilating.

Posted by pw @ 03/26/2008 06:40 PM

ok..the music dork in me can't let this go.

its Chris Barnes' banter...NOT George "Corpsegrinder" Fischer.

silly non-metal kids.

Posted by jeremiah @ 03/26/2008 06:25 PM

I think this is actually Chris Barnes on the CC recording, not corpsegrinder... I think Venom wins though... that dude is RAGING!!!!

Posted by Rick @ 03/26/2008 06:20 PM

Cannibal Corpse wins by a landslide.

*Note: I subtracted 5 points every time someone said the word "alright".

Posted by Ben @ 03/26/2008 06:10 PM

They should set this event in Norway so kids can bleed themselves to death. That would make it a wee bit more metal. Also have an actual demon there to be the final judge.

Posted by Michael Higginbotham @ 03/26/2008 04:50 PM

Ol' Corpsegrinder and the gang win this one (Sorry Cronos)! The song titles alone do it for me anyway, but roaring the whole time he was bantering just makes it so much better!

Posted by Kevin @ 03/26/2008 04:45 PM

I gotta go with the corpse on this one..Much more over the top..Always been more of a Venom fan but c'mon listen to corpse grinder.

Posted by Mark @ 03/26/2008 04:15 PM

C.C. sounds like a mockery of the Venom one to me, but picturing a satanic Cookie Monster might even out this battle some.

Posted by Joe @ 03/26/2008 11:55 AM

I vote Cronos. And who could forget Rollins's summary of his banter in Get in the Van? I also recommend the bootleg "People, Let Me Get This off My Chest," which is 70 minutes of nothing but Paul Stanley stage banter. Somebody should compile a box set of all this stuff...

Posted by robh @ 03/26/2008 10:37 AM

Venom wins because that's Cronos natural voice...i was behind him in line at Chipotle once when he order a "Steak Fajiiiiiita Burrittto BOW-EL, OH YEAH...with ROCK-AMOLé'!"

Posted by jeremiah @ 03/26/2008 09:26 AM