A compilation of worn-out record review references, ideas and phrases
by Jordan N. Mamone and Sean Howe

- lo-fi
- sonics (as a noun)
- sonic (as an adj; of course it’s sonic, it’s a fucking record)
- electronica
- hip (and, of course, überhip)
- sound (as in a band’s...)
- stoner rock
- emo
- deliver (bands are not mailmen; they do not deliver music)
- here (as in “here, Ricky Martin melds spicy Latin rhythms and ska-influenced horns”’; a record is not a place, asshole)
- serve up
- shards
- fretwork
- Elder Statesman
- godfather of
- gettin’ jiggy wit
- phat
- quirky
- quietude
- haunting
- Nick Drake
- Beach Boys
- Pet Sounds
- Elephant 6
- rawk
- rock
- rockin’
- ethereal
- seminal
- incorporate (especially incorrectly, without the word ”into” ex: Tricky incorporates hip-hop, guitars and anal sex on his new album)
- offer (as ad-speak for SELL; or ex.: “The Get Up Kids offer a new twist on the emo formula” - Offer? Like you’re benefiting?)
- shimmer
- avant-
- guitar lines (we’re doing coke?)
- brew (we’re making beer?)
- elements (ex: “incorporates elements of punk and jazz”; leave it to the weatherman to mess with the elements)
- group
- band
- funky
- cyber
- anything “millennium” or “Y2K”-related
- effect (i.e. “to dizzying effect”, “to dazzling effect”)
- beats
- eccentric
- atmospheric
- groove
- territory
- stylish
- ‘n’
- lush
- Afro-disiac
- twisting
- tuneful
- alterna-
- alt-
- knack (or penchant)
- prove (ex.: “Suicaine Gratification proves that growing old doesn’t have to mean growing up”)
- Melody
- musings
- old-school
- new-school
- psychedelic
- abstract (duh!)
- ambient (duh! duh!)
- quality
- a sound all their own
- impassioned
- conjures
- reviews that tell you how loud you should play the album
- myriad
- blissful
- reviews that guarantee that you’ll cry. like they fuckin’ know what makes you tear up.
- reviews that guarantee that you will get up and dance. like most people dance when they listen to records alone.
- the early ‘90s
- energy
- feel
- ass, or kicking it
- recall
- anything with ”ear”
- aural
- unabashed
- evocative
- references to musicians’ record
collections
- decidedly
- drop (as in “drop beats” or “drop jams”)
- moody
- plaintive
- heartbreak
- reminiscent
- in a big way
- tweak
- croon (which everyone inexplicable uses as a synonym for sing — you probably ain’t crooning unless you’re effing Bing Crosby — which would hurt quite a bit)
- coo
- stylings
- vibe
- junkie blues
- references to enjoyment of beverage while listening to album
- vinyl
- turntable (what is this, Stereo Review? you don’t read film critics going on about the film projector)
- smooth jams
- smooth grooves
- keeping it real
- blunts
- full-throttle
- 1977
- great for listening to in the car in summer with the top down, etc.
- kids
- anything by Dan Aquilante
- stew
- musings
- inventive

Underused Words
- splayed
- funkateer
- dubious
- flaccid
- goose-pimpled
- beige
- brownness
- barfy