Tinkle Booze Cruise
New York City @ Queen of Hearts
23 September 03
My only hope is that in 20 years, just mentioning to people that I was on this cruise will spark fires of jealousy. Maybe it's just because I've lived outside of "industry" towns my entire life (thank God), but, to me, a boat full of the titans of New York's improv-comedy scene cruising around Manhattan is the stuff legends are made of. The name dropping could get obscene, but the hosts of Tinkle (Jon Benjamin, David Cross and Todd Berry) worked two separate stages simultaneously with an array of actors/comedians, to simply indescribable results. It's got to be great to live in a city where outrageous events like this are embraced. I'm green with envy. And, not to be outdone, Chunklet faves Les Savy Fav performed a brief set on the poop deck, ending with Tim being (quite literally) man-handled as he hung from the outside of the boat. In a perfect world, events like this would take place every Friday and twice on weekends.

All Tomorrow's Parties
Long Beach @ Queen Mary
7 &8 November 03
I wrote off music festivals a long time ago. Not only are they reduced to nothing more than endurance tests, but they fetishize the very music they're championing and leave music geeks (yes, such as myself) totally burnt out and somewhat disenchanted. Enter All Tomorrow's Parties. What started out as a British affair nestled in Camber Sands (a run-down vacation resort outside of London) is now a full-fledged international sensation. And, whereas the intimacy (read: no proper backstage, no access laminates, etc.) was a refreshing change in the UK, the business-as-usual vibe of the Matt Groening-curated ATP in LA left me a bit....oh, I don't know, disappointed. Whereas you could be sitting at the pub knocking pints back with Mark E. Smith in England, there was a clear sense of separation at this most recent festival. While Bob and I were attempting to get interviews for our new yet-to-be-published fanzine The Underground Railroad, it was impossibly difficult to find anybody. And here I was thinking that dressing up as train engineers would've helped our chances of getting an interview with those on the laundry list of proto-indie celebs in attendance. Hell, I bumped up against Vincent Gallo as he was talking to Kim Gordon! I don't believe federal law allows cred to be piled on much thicker. Regardless, those bands you would've expected to be good (Mission of Burma, Magic Band, Minutemen Duet) were damn good. Those you would expect to blow (Cat Power, The Mars Volta) did so quite effortlessly. And then there were a couple of surprises (Jackie O-Motherfucker, DanielsonFamily) that kept me wanting to pace the quarter mile between the main stage and the Queen Mary. There was something rather off-putting about seeing !!! and Black Heart Procession playing early on the first day under the bright California sun instead of at night, but that's just being picky. However, the corpse felching of Elliott Smith was in reckless abandon, with   a 45-minute tribute set in lieu of his scheduled appearance. Thanks to his suicide (you pussy!), we now had to endure people "paying tribute" to his corpse. Christ, you should've stabbed me in the fucking chest while you were at it,Elliott. However, let's not cheapen this review, and let's instead say that there was no more substantial reason to traverse this continent than to see the headliner for the second night on the big stage: Iggy and the Stooges. With Mike Watt on bass (I couldn't have made a better choice myself), the Asheton brothers and Iggy looked like they were having the time of their lives. If they're actually able to keep this reborn phoenix from burning up (again), this reunion could be the great shaking motion of the oversized Etch-a-Sketch known as rock music. It was the only time I could forgive a band for playing the same song twice in one 50-minute set. A double dose of "TVEye?" Where do I sign?

Rocket From The Tombs
Atlanta @ Echo Lounge
10December 03
I never thought I'd be known as the guy who is more excited about nostalgia acts than the new bands coming around, but I guess I'm slowly edging towards that semi-creepy demographic that I see at Marshall Crenshaw shows. Ah, how time changes things. As far as reunion tours go, this one is a bit of a stretch, only because the band (featuring founding members of Dead Boys and Pere Ubu) never really toured, never put out a legitimate record until two years ago and barely made a name for themselves during their existence in those pre-'77 days in Cleveland. But it's remarkable what almost 30 years has done to this group of old farts. For more than a decade, RFTT's David Thomas and Cheetah Chrome talked smack about each other in the press, but no one is gladder than me that the smoke has settled and everybody has kissed and made up. With Television's Richard Lloyd on rhythm guitar (I guess he's waiting for an offer to do another questionable solo album), this was the one show that I was most excited about during the second half of aught-three. And I can say without hesitation, that it was all I'd hoped it would be. The first third of the club smacked of the über-geekiness of a Magic Band show (read:guys in trenchcoats with bad facial hair), but, hey, at least they have good taste. I do think the posters were stretching it a bit thin by saying this would be a "once in a lifetime affair," but it still came across as an essential and fun performance for all involved.

Interpol
Atlanta @ Roxy
9 October 03
I can forgive any buzz band for a relentless tour schedule. The older I get, the more I realize that any "buzz" band has at least a handful of yes-men managing-types sitting behind them whispering things in their ears. "Strike while the iron is hot.""You can take a vacation after this upcoming 6-week tour." "We can get your video on MTV if you do this one tour with Aerosmith." I can only imagine what has been whispered in the ears of the guys in Interpol, but I'm sure it'll be great fodder for their VH1BehindThe Music in 20 years. That is, if they last through recording a semi-respectable follow-up record... Just look at how The Strokes have done. Williamsburg isn't entirely bankable, I reckon. Although I take most touring stories with a grain of salt (or, in their case, Dixie Crystals. Hey, at least it looks like salt), it was painfully obvious to me that Interpol needed to put their Chameleons-cum-goth pop schtick on ice for a year even before I saw this show. After seeing them put on a really decent show at the 40 Watt earlier in the year, I was anticipating a bunch of suck for this Roxy show, and, I wasn't at all off the mark. If the phrase "phoning it in" were in the dictionary, a photo of this show would be right next to it. An uninspired and flat performance, but, hey, that was one helluva light show. Man, to think I drove into Buckhead, paid too much for parking and got this; I'm glad I didn't actually pay to get in, otherwise I would've been genuinely pissed off.

Clutch/Mastodon/Nebula
Athens @ 40 Watt
18 January 04
Ever since the early 90's, every underground sub-genre has become more divided out of some desperate need to differentiate its members from their peers.Therefore it comes as no surprise that this show wasn't so much about the music as it was about the phenomenal people-watching opportunities that were laid before me. Although I wasn't told in advance to wear black or a hoodie or a chain wallet or cartoonish facial hair or a baseball hat, I guess 99.3% of those in attendance did, in fact, get that memo, because, sweet shit, was I feeling out of place! And to think none of these people took us up on our tattoo offer in the last issue. Ferchrissakes, it was a veritable walking sea of drunken ink. Take gutter punks and trailer trash, add buckets of booze and a big stoner rock show, and then just stand back and watch the drama unfold. Although it had been seven years since I'd seen Nebula (their first tour opening for Mudhoney in '97), their "thing" hadn't changed one bit. I mean, come on, doing Deep Purple and Blue Cheer covers can't be that difficult, so why can't they at least do something that would approach a stage production?Lights!At least a couple of lights would be nice, guys. What're you saving that money for, anyway?A new, diamond-studded bong? Next was Neurostodon (or Mastosis, take yr pick) who now that The Rock*A*Teens have cashed in their chips, have effortlessly won the crown of the best band in Atlanta. Of course, some would say that there's more competition in, say, Iowa City, but I digress. Mastodon definitely brought their "A Game," and played at least 50% new material. Even though some of the new material kind of blends together, and the same can be said for some of the older stuff, it's really impressive to see a band fromGeorgia (unironically) embrace metal. My only regret is that I don't get more opportunities to see them live. And, although I'm sure it comes off as even too jaded for Jaded Robot, I'd not seen Clutch since '91 when they opened up for Jawbox. I mention that only because, holy shit, they're not even a hardcore band any more. I know, surprise of surprises; but they're a flat-out stoner band now that would give even Frank Kozik a chubby. Having expected at least a glimpse of their once great hardcore/noise roots, I was already entirely bummed half-way through their first song. On my way out of the 40 Watt, I had to commend all four bands on the bill (the first band, whose name I forgot, was a Nebula clone... ugh) for filling not one, but both walls in the corner from floor to ceiling with T-shirts and hoodies. Although funds were running tight by the end of the night, I at least know where I need to purchase my wardrobe for the next show like this I decide to attend.