aka More Jokes That Will Make You The Big Hit At The Only Industry Snoozefest You’ll Ever Attend

Q: What’s the difference between the Danielson Family and the Hare Krishnas?
A: At least you can tolerate the Hare Krishnas’ music.

Q: What do you get when you cross Jimmy Buffett with ‘now’?
A: Sammy Hagar.

Q: What has the same properties as Napalm and looks great on Bobby Conn?
A: Napalm.

Q: What sang on the White Stripes album and is more homely than a wicker basket?
A: Holly Golightly.

Q: How many members of the Polyphonic Spree does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 23. One to change the bulb and the other 22 to suck my dick.

Q: Why aren’t hipsters good at karate?
A: They never can get past the white belt.

Q: How does Erase Errata get their fans to eat shit?
A: They wipe forwards.

Q: What’s the difference between Napoleon and Glen Danzig?
A: A half an inch.

Q: What’s more boring than being trapped in a block of ice for several million years?
A: Seeing the Sea & Cake perform.

Q: What do you get when you mix the Pixies circa 1989 with 375 lbs. of human fat?
A: The Pixies reunion tour.

Q: What do Ike Turner’s hand and Tina Turner’s tampon have in common?
A: They both have her blood on them.

Q: How many members of Ladybug Transistor does it take to paint a wall red?
A: It depends on how good your swing is.

Q: What does Peaches’s crotch have in common with rotten chicken meat?
A: Salmonella thrives in both of them.

Q: What looks like an episode of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and is as unfunny as a root canal?
A: Kaiju Big Battel.

Q: What does Kim Gordon have in common with your grandmother?
A: Age.